Junior Golf: Parents-Choose Your Battles

In today’s Wednesday Waggle we will open up a can of parenting worms, 1 of the toughest parts of 1 of life’s toughest jobs, being a parent. (Dufner photo golfdigest.com)img_0102-1

So where am I going here? Well depending on your personality type would you be referred to as easy-going or kind of a stickler for details or even a pain? Your interactions with your son/daughter have a huge impact on the whole relationship. How is your junior golfer interpreting your words? Is what you say uplifting and encouraging or would it be degrading and negative? What you say and how you say it is important, but even more important is how your youngster is hearing and interpreting it.

Personally I grew up having the undesirable tendency towards being critical of nearly everything and exhibiting an attitude of a perfectionist. Some folks tolerate this behavior better than others and some close friends and family members may even call you out on it and offer to help. And a number of people just don’t want to be around it. This was magnified and brought to a head when Linda’s 2 children from her 1st marriage came on the scene. It took years, but finally I was able to moderate my pain in the rear attitude. It was tough, tough on me and on everyone around me, but I didn’t like how I was and I wanted to change.

As 1 of our favorite experts on teenagers, Mark Gregston, author of Tough Guys and Drama Queens says (paraphrasing), “ If the first thing your son hears as soon as he’s in your presence is a string of gripes about everything from his hair, clothes, room, grades and everything else, why would he ever want to be near you? Nobody wants to be around that!” (Mark Gregston images amazon.com and utube)

Parents, it’s important that you pick your battles! Don’t magnify minor issues out of proportion. Obviously things that are morally, ethically or legally wrong cannot be ignored, but don’t get caught up in every little detail of your boy’s/girl’s life that might annoy or embarrass you and make it a battle.

What’s a battle? As long as it doesn’t violate the school’s dress code, does a shirt, blouse, hair style or cut, or pair of shoes warrant a war? In our thoughts, no. Is cutting class or lying a battle, yep, sure is? You get my point.

Please be the Mom or Dad of encouraging words, more positive and less to zero negative. You can do it. Listen more, talk less. A good hug and “I love you”, are highly recommended! The time with our kids flys by. Before you know it they’re on their own. Make your time together the kind of time where your kids want to be with you and you want to be with them. Really, there’s nothing else like it!

See you on #1 tee wanting to be around each other… Sam

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